12.25.2006

A Philadelphia Weekend Part 2 of 2

A Philadelphia weekend continued…

Item No. 002 – The Walkmen Live @ Johnny Brenda’s 12/16/2006

Last month I was severely disappointed when I missed The Walkmen playing down at NYU’s Skirball Center. So since then I’d been looking forward to catching them play their last show of the year in Philadelphia. There was no disappointment. In fact, the performance surpassed all expectation and truly illustrated what Steph called “the brilliance of The Walkmen.”

After waiting a brief eternity for some action on the stage (doors at 8, show at 9 more like doors at 8, show at half-past 10), the opener, Brother JT from West Easton, PA, did not make the time go by much faster. Their first song was quite a rampage after the mild volume of the house mix for the previous 2+ hours. The singer mumbled something about starting loud to draw the crowd in and not to scare us away that didn’t make any sense. The rest of their “fairly psychedelic funk/rock” set was much easier to take in, however the group offered little in terms of visual entertainment besides noticing that the drummer resembled the actor, Chris Cooper. The guitarist and bassist seemed to be cautious of knocking into The Walkman’s piano and organ set up, which limited them to standing in a crowd beside the lead singer, who “repulsed” Steph. The phrases “pig of a man” and “eyes rolling back into head” would bounce around later that night regarding him.

So after a painful wait, The Walkmen arrived, and things got going. They eased into the set with a couple of new songs, including one with Mazarin’s Quentin Stoltzfus jangling a super-sized tambourine. (There was also some speculation that Stoltzfus, dawning a red baseball cap, was playing cook downstairs in the bar earlier that evening. Can anyone offer some confirmation on this fact?) He would appear again during the holiday portion of the show wearing the coolest Santa hat I’ve ever seen, reading dialogue off paper plates as The Walkmen played their “Christmas Party” single, which preceded a rendition of “White Christmas.”

The set was a pretty decent spread of The Walkmen’s repertoire. They played plenty of tracks from
A Hundred Miles Off including “Danny’s At the Wedding,” “All Hands and the Cook,” and “Louisiana,” during which three fancy ladies accompanied the guys on horns. (Another new track called for more horns – nice.) A chunk of songs came off their first two releases: “Wake Up,” “Thinking of a Dream I Had,” “Little House of Savages,” plus favorites “The Rat” and “That’s the Punchline.” Nothing came off the Pussycats record, though everyone was in the perfect party mood for a round of “Loop De Loop,” and some were let down not to hear popular selections “Lost in Boston,” and of course, “We’ve Been Had.”

All in all, I thought the show was well worth the wait. The Walkmen put on a spectacular show and Johnny Brenda’s was a great, cozy space to see them. Everyone was up and about, and the guys closed out their year with two encore sets. Superb.

Here is a clip of “Wake Up” from the show:


Hear/watch some of the new songs they played & more: http://www.myspace.com/thewalkmen

Dear Johnny Brenda's

Dear Johnny Brenda’s,

I have had the opportunity to visit your establishment twice, once for a WXPN free concert of Gran Bel Fisher and more recently, for a performance of The Walkmen. It is the latter of these two visits that prompted me to write you this letter.

Before I get too far into this letter, I want to commend you for the friendly ambience of your dining area. The décor is unassuming and though the tables were few, those present found ample space at the bar for mingling. I arrived about an hour before the concert’s scheduled start (a rarity in my case) and so I had some time to kill. After perusing your lengthy and rather impressive beer list, I selected a stout which was just dry enough for my liking. My friends drank the Woodchuck cider, which was perfect for their palates. Meanwhile, we watched as your chefs prepared dish after dish of seafood and sandwiches, all of which looked utterly delectable. I unfortunately wasn’t hungry at the time and did not order any food, but I promise to return in the near future to dine at your tavern.

Now, it’s important to make note of the time as my visit progressed. I arrived at 8pm. Though this was presumably when doors opened for the concert upstairs, they weren’t. This, however, was forgivable as it afforded me an opportunity to lounge in the aforementioned dining area. When we finished our drinks, the doors had opened and people were filing upstairs. The second floor was sparsely filled when we got up there, which meant we could stake out our spot by the pole with a perfect view of the stage.

This is when the night got a bit frustrating. The reason for my writing is to express my disapproval of how long we waited before the opening band, Brother JT, climbed the stage.

8pm: Arrive at Johnny Brenda’s. Get drinks.
8:45pm: Go upstairs. Stake out a spot by the pole.
10:00pm: Opening band Brother JT begins playing.
11:00pm: Brother JT leaves stage.
11:20pm: The Walkmen enter. We have a blast.

As my recap indicates, we waited for quite a long time for the opening band. Now, I see how preparing for a concert may take some time, especially with all the equipment to set up and drinks to be downed backstage. But over an hour? Especially when my ticket promised that the concert would start at 9pm? Perhaps I am being petty, but that’s a long time to be on my feet waiting for something, anything, to happen. Luckily, The Walkmen was good enough to justify such patience. Brother JT, however, is another story. I don’t want to talk about them.

My advice to you is that the next time you anticipate such a delay (which I hope won’t be too soon), please inform the audience. A nice little update every 15 minutes would be quite gracious, thank you.

Sincerely yours,
Guest #252

PS – Please pass the following message along to the couple that was making out in front of me during the concert: “Stop it. I can see you. And you’re not even that attractive.” Thank you.

12.18.2006

A Philadelphia Weekend Part 1 of 2

A Philadelphia weekend…

Item No. 001 – Punk Rock Flea Market

The Punk Rock Flea Market (or “swap meet” if you like, where goods are swapped for cold hard cash, or in rare cases, plastic) takes place bi-annually at the Starlight Ballroom to raise money to support all ages shows at the First Unitarian Church. I’d never heard of the event when my brother told me about it, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. At first sight, while driving around in search of parking, the scene looked much like a typical rock show: kids in hooded sweatshirts arriving from all directions and smokers loitering outside. We were all surprised to see such a turnout before noon on a Saturday morning. Inside were about 100 vendors hawking hand-made, found, purchased and collected goods such as prints, collages, jewelry, CDs, vinyl records, vintage clothes, knitted items, dolls, handbags, etc… Stand-out pieces included an intricately crafted pair of chain mail-style earrings (which I purchased from a man wearing a vest of chain mail), a neon orange hunting-inspired knit hat featuring a ferocious bear appliqué, hand-embroidered t-shirts with various ironic statements and illustrations, a set of earrings made with Barbie™ accessories like tiny pumps and hotdogs, and a collection of prints by Kyle Schmidt of Fire Escape Press (K’na purchased one of these). Though the packed crowds made it extremely difficult to navigate and browse through all of the offerings, everyone came out satisfied and at least a little bit closer to broke.

Coming Soon: Part 2 - The Walkmen play Johnny Brenda's

12.10.2006

Found: BlackBerry®

Mr. McDonough,

I have your BlackBerry®.

On Tuesday, the 17th, it seems that you were in some rush to catch your train. I watched you sprint through the doors, into the station and down the tunnel to Track 2. In your hustle, you failed to notice that your BlackBerry®—holster and all—unlatched from your belt and tumbled to the ground. I wanted to ensure that no one of questionable ethics would get his or her hands on the device—I can imagine the inconvenience of losing a tool upon which you probably depend very heavily, and also the headaches that come along with worrying that all of your personal information has fallen into the hands of a scoundrel—so I picked it up for safekeeping myself. I didn’t attempt to chase you or call after you because, you see, I’m slow and also shout at a below-average volume. Besides, with your haste and the pounding of footsteps in the train station at rush hour, I’m certain that any attempt to attract your attention would have been futile.

By the way, did you make your train that night?

So, anyhow, I am writing you now (I located your home address in your “Personal Contacts”) to inform you that I have your BlackBerry® and I would like to inquire as to whether or not you would like to retrieve it. If so, kindly send $100,000 to the P.O. Box included on the enclosed newspaper clipping. Once I receive payment, I will guarantee the return of your trusty handheld.

By the way, you received 6 missed calls, a voicemail, and a rather descriptive text message from Paula, who is apparently extremely eager to see you. And also, you received a message to pick up a gallon of nonfat milk from your wife.

-H.C.

12.03.2006

THAT is the question!

interactive segment:

please submit a question, any question at all that could prompt the following answer/statement. and GO!

answer/statement: "seagulls massage the horizon."

*answer/statement provided by an undisclosed tall person.

Penelope's mother: a brief excerpt

From Cats are the worst. - a short story (title subject to change)

...Penelope’s mother was living on a villa in Tuscany with her seventh husband, Gianmarco Bruscoli, for whom she’d left the Indonesian cobbler, who was more trustworthy than the English stockbroker, who cooked more luxuriant meals than the Belgian pharmacist, who had stolen her away from the Canadian gymnast, who was more sensitive than the Portuguese sailor for whom she’d broken Penelope’s father’s heart. Her mother called Penelope too often and always managed to harass her about when she’d marry her boyfriend, Brody O’Henry, “the doctor.” She disapproved of their living together without marital vows, and she accused her daughter of having inexplicable issues with commitment. Her mother warned her that such a distinguished man as “the doctor” would not be willing to play games with her like “that writer” she used to date.

In fact, Penelope’s boyfriend wasn’t a doctor. He was actually “that writer” she used to date. Penelope’s mother paid more attention to what her boyfriends did for a living than who they actually were. This made her conveniently easy to fool...